Blog #20

As project manager my job is to go around to various groups to make sure they are on task and help where I'm needed. I need to work to make sure the whole play is cohesive, on track, and going to happen. Recently I have been working on helping to edit the script. I have given some ideas and edits to help the writers out. The script is the piece of work I want to show because right now it is the most important component of the play because without it we cannot move forward.

One of the suggestions I made was to change the short dialogue of morning and hey into something more meaningful and informational to the audience. Saying hey doesn't explain much about a character.

GRANT:
Morning Logan

LOGAN:
(quietly almost under his breath) Hey

It was changed to these lines instead. Here we are learning that Grant and Vincent know each other. Grant even knows Vincent's schedule which also tells us they are close and Vincent notices that Grant isn't on time, which is not like him. We are already learning more about the characters but they are still saying hello, just in a more revealing way.

GRANT
Good morning Vincent. Already started?

VINCENT(Stops writing closes the laptop)
Hey, not yet. Aren’t you usually here by now

The line of you are such a hermit did not seem to fit into the script for me. I felt that it made Grant seem much too harsh and rude for a friend that is supposed to be caring. I felt that Grant would be frustrated with Vincent more than anything and struggling with whether he could continue to be Vincent's friend.

GRANT: you are such a hermit. You almost never leave, and when you’re here you don’t do anything.   

I suggested that Grant say, you're killing me, to show that he is frustrated with Vincent. This way we know that he does not agree with what Vincent is doing but rather than attack him, he is struggling himself to understand how Vincent could be alone all the time. I would still take out the part about being socially unacceptable because it does not seem to flow or be important. Instead have it say, Vincent, you're killing me, you stay up in your loft... Therefore I would also take out Vincent's line of why's that.

GRANT
Vincent, you’re killing me!

VINCENT
Why’s that?

GRANT
Don’t you think it’s socially unacceptable to stay up in your loft all weekend without even coming downstairs to brew any fresh coffee? I mean, the last time you left this building was when it got fumigated a year ago!

Another suggestion was to not have Vincent appear smarter than the professor. In my opinion I felt that a professor would never not read anything because it is too long. They are teachers and would be used to having to read and would not only not complain about length, but would notice something as simple as iambic pentameter.

VIN
I did the same thing. Did you notice that the whole 12th chapter is in Iambic pentameter?

PROF
Really? That chapter is almost 40 pages long

The lines were then changed and now has Vincent telling the professor about a book she should read. To me this sounds much more natural and would make sense that Vincent is suggesting a book rather than point out the obvious to the professor.

VINCENT
Well, I know we don’t have “The Triumvirate,” but we do have another book by Lewis Caldwell, that I think is much more interesting; have you heard of “An End Worth Hearing”?

PROFESSOR
I haven’t. Enlighten me.

Editing the script has taught me a lot about each character, who they are, what they do, and what they will say. I can use this knowledge when it comes time to hand in the "final" script because I can help to further make changes if need be while we are rehearsing. This process has also shown me that editing is important because without it you cannot produce the best piece of work. With this I want to bring that into the future components of the play because we need to edit in order to create the best costumes, hair, makeup, sets, and stage direction possible.